To Pee or Not To Pee: That is the Question

My modern-day homage to William Shakespeare. If you are a literary purist, my sincere apologies in advance.
Shakespeare pic
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To Pee or Not To Pee: That is the Question
To pee, or not to pee, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The puddles and poops of outrageous fortune,
Or to take baby wipes and bleach against a (pee) sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To change diapers and pull-ups, to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache, and the numerous late-night “accidents”
That toddlers are prone to: ’tis a longing
That these times will end. To lie down, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream – there is the joke:
For in that non-existent sleep no dreams will ever come,
When we have changed soiled clothing for the umpteenth time,
It must give us pause – there’s the reality of parenting toddlers
That makes a calamity of life for so long.
For who would bear the cries and whines of tantrums,
The parents’ wrongs, the two-year-olds’ petulance,
The pangs of unfinished sleep, the zombie-like existence,
The insanity of potty-training, and the puddles of pee
That toddlers merit as all in a hard day’s work,
When they themselves might actually be able to evacuate
On the actual throne? Who would moms and dads bear,
To grunt and sweat on said potty throne,
But that the dread of something worse,
Like a call from the daycare that there are no more clean clothes;
No toddler returns, immediate pickup is demanded,
And makes us rather bitter and crabby
To clean up yet another mound of waste;
Thus poop does make cowards of us all,
And thus the naive embarrassment of resignation
That this reality will last for many months to come,
And the fact that one is angry and frustrated with the lack of progress,
With this regard their patience turns awry,
And perhaps throw in the towel. Curses you now,
The wretched potty! “Throne,” in thy righteousness
Be all my toilet training attempts forgotten.
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Any potty training tips to share? I’m all ears!!

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