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| Image courtesy of http://singalongwithme.com |
4) Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed – One by one, these simians become concussed, and yet this “doctor” has only one remedy: “no more monkeys jumping on the bed.” Can we say “lawsuit?” I hope this doctor has malpractice insurance.
5) Five Little Ducks – The ducks are being killed or abducted, one by one, and the mother duck is still just saying “quack, quack, quack” instead of calling the police. There is a serial duck killer on the loose and it doesn’t phase the mother duck at all. She clearly is not concerned that her babies are being systematically knocked off, one at a time. She just keeps quacking. I’ve surmised that the mother duck is an unfit duck and a sociopath.
6) Clementine – It was only in the past few years that it dawned on me how absolutely dire and dreary this song was, especially since we tend to sing it to small children. It’s about drowning, folks! Yes – it’s basically about someone who watches their beloved “Clementine” drown…because, (in their own words) “…but alas I was no swimmer so I lost my Clementine.” Sick. Oh, and morbid, too. We’re now singing about drowning? Check out the full lyrics here. No, I don’t sing this to my kids.
7) Rock-a-bye Baby - Who on earth puts their precious baby in a cradle on a treetop?? I know first-hand how desperate one can get when your child won’t sleep, but c’mon!! The bough breaking, the cradle falling and the baby falling to it’s inevitable demise is just too much for me to bear. Pass on this tune.
8) Jack and Jill – As you can see by now, there is an ongoing theme about kids sustaining major injuries in many of the popular children’s songs. Children’s song writers are evidently a sick and sadistic bunch. “Jack fell down and broke his crown” is bad enough, but “Jill came tumbling after” sounds like a parent’s worse nightmare. And on that note, where are Jack and Jill’s parents in this scenario??
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| Image courtesy of http://threeblindmiceproduction.com |
9) Three Blind Mice – “A Rodent Slasher Story” – that’s how I see this so-called “harmless” tale (or should I say “tail?”). How twisted that sightless rodents are having their appendages hacked off by a carving knife. For what purpose? Sick, sick, sick.
10) Peas Porridge Hot – Can we say “food poisoning?” Who leaves food on the stove for NINE DAYS then feeds it to their kids? Again – unfit parents. I don’t care if that “Peas Porridge” is grandma’s most coveted recipe that was handed down through numerous generations. NINE DAYS IS JUST TOO LONG. End of story. See unfit parent for more details.As you can see, many of the songs we sing are just plain messed up. At least that’s my opinion (with my tongue firmly planted in cheek).
What children’s songs would be on your Top 10 Most Annoying list? Can’t wait to hear about them.
For more annoying children’s songs “analysis” go to “The Wheels on the Bus are Flat Pt. 2: Still More Annoying Children’s Songs
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
My husband and I were thinking about this the other day. We bought our daughter a CD of children's songs. One of the songs is called Shortenin' Bread. The lyrics are:
"Three little children, lying in bed
Two was sick an' the other 'most dead…"
Crazy…no?
My daughter loves to watch Dora and I have caught myself on more than one occasion singing the Dora theme song at work. It's not until my co-workers start laughing at me that I realize I'm even doing it! So embarrassing!
@BigMamma DYea, the "doctor" in the Shortnin' Bread song seems to think that dough cooked on the skillet will cure all kinds of ailments. He's a quack. That said, the tune is kind of catchy…I often find myself singing kids songs at the supermarket and other embarrassing places.
Thanks for commenting!
For us it's the princess songs! ALL OF THEM! It is like my girls get stuck on repeat with a certian line and can't shake it for a good 3-4 days. Even my son ends up singing along because it is all he has heard for so many days in a row, that it has acted as a brain washing technique! hahahaha
@Kerri Kerri, I feel your pain! Once those songs take hold in your mind, they're hard to remove! It doesn't help when the kids are singing them over and over and over again…ay-ya!!
For us it’s ‘Ring Around the Rosie” … I dislike this song so much because it also includes physical activity that as far as my children are concerned never needs to end….forever ringing around the rosie and falling down….bleeechhhhhh!!!
Ugh!! I cant stand that one, either! Did you know some experts say it was about the Black Plague?? How depressing and inappropriate for a kid’s song! They all fall down is supposed to mean they’re dead. Yikes!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_a_Ring_o%27_Roses
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