The Truth About Moms

by Samantha on August 9, 2012

JuiceBeauty.com FREE SAMPLES

We’re supposed to be the perfect mom. If we took media images of us seriously, we’d always have the laundry done and folded, a four-course gourmet meal on the table every night and kids who were A+ students. Oh yea, our houses would be meticulously cleaned continually and we’d nary utter an unkind word to our children, spouses or otherwise. We’d do all of this with a smile on our faces.

If you’re a mom, you know that this Utopian fantasy is just that – an unrealistic viewpoint on what is arguably the most difficult job in the world – being a parent. Moms in particular tend to take the weight of the world onto our shoulders; after all, we just want to fix things and make them all better, right? What ends up happening is that we disappoint ourselves in not meeting the unrealistic standards that are set upon us by those who think they know better.

This is my battle cry for all moms to throw caution to the wind and to let the laundry sit yet another day longer because, heaven knows – the world won’t come to an end.

 

I’m not a perfect parent; I’m far from it. It’s likely that you’re not either. And that’s okay. I’m lifting the veil on the reality of motherhood, at least in my own situation, and hope that it will make it just a little bit easier for all of you out there to admit that it’s never perfect but it’s good enough. Your children are happy and healthy and they love you. What more do you need?
Read my article entitled “The 10 Things I’m No Longer Ashamed To Admit About Being A Mom” over at The Ricki Lake Show Magazine where I’ll now be contributing. Can’t wait to hear what you think!

Sam

Image courtesy of http://momsincharge.wordpress.com


 

 

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Insomnia Mum August 12, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Thank you so much for introducing me to your blog! love it.
It rings such a bell with me when I had my first 3 kids. I have my mother & mother inlaw to blame. I was one of those mums who under presure made those beautifully home cooked meal, spotless house, had a full time job and studying part time with a husband who never lifted a finger. His atttitude, due to his upbringing was, that it was a womans world, where no real man should enter. I wasn’t even allowed a dishwasher…’they are for lazy women’….get the guilt trip. On the outside I might have looked like the dutiful mum, but inside I started to feel like a used up dirty dish rag. I became narky, stressed, bitter & judgemental, a glorified slave trying to appease everyone & keep the status quo. I was no longer a person, I was no longer me, I no longer existed.
I had fallen for the trap of Mother Perfection, and everyone around me relied on it.
When I had my 4th, the birth went horribly wrong. Life for me changed, maybe it was the point, being in ICU for 2 weeks hooked up to all manner of machines, when my MIL came storming in, with fury on her face “MY son had to go out & buy bread! what sort of lousy wife & mother are you!” (never had a good relationship with that woman) or maybe it was the nurse who handed me the tissue box after MIL left & said “you’re doing it all wrong”.
I came home, moved the husband out, bought a dishwasher & a dryer and for the first time in parenting life, I started to breathe.
I became a better mum by not trying to be the perfect mum.

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Samantha August 13, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Wow! What a story you have. Inspiring too! It just goes to show that the “motherhood perfection” trap is most often put upon us by those who are supposed to be our biggest supporters. Good for you for realizing the sheer craziness of what you were going through and for making changes to make it better. Thanks so much for commenting and reading my blog :)

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Tara @ secretsofamomaholic.com August 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I am with you girl! I have no idea how people keep their houses clean! I have this one girlfriend ( I know her since Kindergarten!) whose house is always perfect…I can literally show up at anytime and her home is in order. I was envious of her ability to do this until I realized she wasnt spending time with her kids…thats how she was able to keep a clean house.

Me…I’d rather be in a mess and have time with my kids.

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Samantha August 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Thanks for your comment and support! I have no idea how people do it either, especially those with small children. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel and forget about cleaning all together because it seems an impossibility to ever have it stay clean and ordered for any period of time. It’s definitely a work in progress and those who manage to do it AND spend quality time with their kids are rare…if non-existent!

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Chantal Onelien August 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Thank you so very much for making moms feel that they are not alone. Your blogs are so refreshing and down to earth. Keep them coming. Love them! You have a long-term follower/reader!
We can all share when it comes to the interesting world of a MOM.
What an interesting world it is!

Thank you again,

Chantal
@conelien8181

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Samantha August 25, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Chantal – thank-you so much for your kind words of support! They mean a lot to me as I started this blog partially as an outlet and partially as a help for other moms that were in the same boat as me: confused and frazzled! So glad to hear that you find my blog helpful and refreshing :) Cheers!

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