To Pee or Not To Pee: That is the Question

My modern-day homage to William Shakespeare. If you are a literary purist, my sincere apologies in advance.
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To Pee or Not To Pee: That is the Question
To pee, or not to pee, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The puddles and poops of outrageous fortune,
Or to take baby wipes and bleach against a (pee) sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To change diapers and pull-ups, to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache, and the numerous late-night “accidents”
That toddlers are prone to: ’tis a longing
That these times will end. To lie down, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream – there is the joke:
For in that non-existent sleep no dreams will ever come,
When we have changed soiled clothing for the umpteenth time,
It must give us pause – there’s the reality of parenting toddlers
That makes a calamity of life for so long.
For who would bear the cries and whines of tantrums,
The parents’ wrongs, the two-year-olds’ petulance,
The pangs of unfinished sleep, the zombie-like existence,
The insanity of potty-training, and the puddles of pee
That toddlers merit as all in a hard day’s work,
When they themselves might actually be able to evacuate
On the actual throne? Who would moms and dads bear,
To grunt and sweat on said potty throne,
But that the dread of something worse,
Like a call from the daycare that there are no more clean clothes;
No toddler returns, immediate pickup is demanded,
And makes us rather bitter and crabby
To clean up yet another mound of waste;
Thus poop does make cowards of us all,
And thus the naive embarrassment of resignation
That this reality will last for many months to come,
And the fact that one is angry and frustrated with the lack of progress,
With this regard their patience turns awry,
And perhaps throw in the towel. Curses you now,
The wretched potty! “Throne,” in thy righteousness
Be all my toilet training attempts forgotten.
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Any potty training tips to share? I’m all ears!!

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  1. Crunchy Mommy (aka Cindy) says

    I LOVE this - I am also potty training a 2 year old boy. Sadly, no tips, as nothing has worked for us. He does the do sometimes on the pot and sometimes not.

    And, I gave you a blogging award. One of those blogger's choice things where we share the love. So I have shared some love in your direction. If you'd like to accept, please click below:

    The Crunchy (Grouchy) Mommy -

  2. Andrea Olson says

    I love your rendition of this poetic flow. 🙂

    My potty training tip is to avoid potty training altogether! I really feel for you and all moms who are potty training toddlers. We've done Elimination Communication with our son from day 1 and he's now 12 months and wears underwear, no more dipes. Perhaps next time…they are born ready. <3

  3. Samantha says

    @Andrea OlsonHi Andrea,
    Thanks for your comment and suggestions re: Elimination Communication. Interesting and I'll definitely read up on it. Though I won't be potty-training any more toddlers after these two! 😉

  4. Jen says

    Hi Sam (may I call you that?) This is just brilliant:) I found you on Mommy Monologues blogfrog community which I am new to. Can't wait to follow along with you! As far as potty training, my 5yo daughter was trained by the time she was three (for the most part) but it was mostly by my mom. As far as my soon-to-be-three year old son, I'm ridiculously hoping he will just train himself…probably shouldn't hold my breath, huh?

  5. Samantha says

    Hi Jen,
    Yes, you can absolutely call me Sam 🙂
    Potty-training is a fun experience, isn't it? A lot of it is "in the trenches" kind of stuff (read: dealing with poo), and not particularly fun. Anyway, we all get through it so more power to you if you were able to get your daughter through, thanks to Grandma! As for your son, don't be surprised if he gets through it faster than you plan. Sometimes kids just surprise us!
    Thanks for commenting 🙂

  6. Make Mommy Chic says

    Hi Samantha, I just found your blog and LOVE IT!!!! We just finished toilet training my younger son and miraculously only took 2 weeks from start to finish. The key really is to wait until they're ready. We tried to potty train him earlier this year and it was a disaster (we were also lazy and weren't consistent). This time around we let little one pee himself for a few days straight and then it kicked it. The biggest joy we get is the huge smile on his face when he realizes that he's peeing. The other biggest job is saving on pullups. Thank god. Mommy needs a new pair of shoes 🙂 Thanks so much for the post, and good luck!

  7. Samantha says

    @Make Mommy Chic
    Hi Sharon,

    I'm so glad that you found my blog and that you love it!

    I agree - timing is everything. My boys are now going on the potty - but often going wherever they're standing as well (or sitting for that matter). Good times. Anyway, I know it's just a phase and will pass, but is frustrating at times, especially dealing with double poo (twins, don't ask!).

    Glad to hear that your experience was a good one and hopefully I'll be joining you in saving some cash on the pull ups soon!!

    Cheers 🙂