The 5 Secrets of Successful Parenting

by Samantha on January 6, 2014



Everyone wants to know the secrets of successful parenting. The role of “Mom” or “Dad” doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Instead, those who are in the trenches are left to their own devices, often to flounder and find their footing as they travel along the parenting road, wondering if they’re doing it right.

For most of us, there are stumbles along the way and self-recriminations such as “Why did I say that?,” “What was I thinking?” or “Did I do the right thing?” Second-guessing oneself is normal but the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. As difficult as parenting is, there are some simple truths that, if followed, will make a world of difference in not only how you feel in your role as parent and provider, but in how your kids will perceive you as well. These truths are basic, straightforward and to the point, and will stop you from the self-criticism that often accompanies so many parenting decisions.

Here are the 5 secrets of successful parenting:

1) Don’t Ask - If you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question. It’s simple. While it may seem counter-intuitive to being a parent - after all, we’re hardwired to think that we have to know everything - not knowing something will help us parent better in the long run. How many times have we asked the question, only to find out something that we didn’t want to hear, or something that made us insanely stressed at the time. Fast forward a day, a week or a month from that same time and we’ve forgotten about it. The bottom line is that most things that kids do that may infuriate or worry us at the time are of little consequence in the long run. To this end, steel yourself and only ask questions when it is abundantly clear that you have to.

2) Don’t Tell - There’s been a recent trend towards parents spilling the beans. I mean telling the kids everything, no holds barred. This is wrong, wrong, wrong. Kids do not have to know everything; nor are parents obliged to tell them everything. Our society has become one of the tail wagging the dog where in many instances, the kids are running the show and the parents are haplessly following along, forgetting that they’re the ones who should be in control. Forget about this trend towards telling all and spilling the beans to our kids. “Mum’s the word” so zip up and remain silent. They’ll survive.

3) Fake It - That’s right: fake it. You may not know what you’re doing but that shouldn’t stop you from acting like you do. The expression “fake it till you make it” should be one of the benchmarks of parenting for all of us. Why? Because there are many instances in our roles as parents where we really don’t know what we’re doing. It’s part and parcel of being a mother or father: having doubts, and lots of them. When this occurs, follow your gut and act like you know what you’re doing. What you’ll find out is that you’re usually right in your decisions, and that you know more than you think you do.

4) Keep Cool - You may feel as though you’re going to combust any second and that your insides are primed for a Mount Vesuvius-type explosion. Ignore it. Never show it. On the contrary, be a cool as a cucumber in your demeanour. On the outside, you should have the calm, cool, control and comportment of one who is confident in their decisions and abilities. Behave in this manner and your kids will believe that you’ve got it together, in spite of what the truth may be. Act it, live it, be it. Done.

5) Follow Through - If you say you’re going to do something do it. This is especially the case when it comes to parenting. Kids don’t react kindly to waffling or indecision; if anything, they take advantage of any sign of weakness. Show your kids that you’re a man or woman of your word and that you can be trusted to follow through with whatever it is you said you’d do. Doing so is a sign of integrity and trustworthiness, even if the action is not what your child wants to see.

What other parenting secrets would you add to this list? Leave me your thoughts in the comments section below.

Want more parenting advice and tips? Click on the image below to get your copy of my eBook today!

Image courtesy of

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: